Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds.
Depression, self-harm, bullying….that’s my reality.
Sex and guys….that’s my escape.
The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me– the two men that I love try to save me.
This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.
Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…
Upon first getting this book i had NO IDEA it would be so moving and so DEEP. and when I say deep I’m talking Atlantic Ocean deep.
We have Jessica who for her own reasons has made herself the school slut. It’s not something she is proud of and if she could change it she would, but she seems to need the guys she sleeps with to validate her. But it also makes her the brunt of the school bullying. reading what she goes through is horrible and bough back so many childhood memories it was painful, although I didn’t have to go through half of what she did.
But there is one, ONE person in that school who does not treat her like crap and who does not want to ‘have a turn’ with the town slut. Jace is the star of the school, dating the head cheerleader (A.K.A Jessica’s number one tormentor) and has the seemingly perfect life. He see’s Jessica not as the school slut but as a person, funny and an amazing swimmer and he befriends her despite all the ridicule he gets at school and from his now ex-girlfriend.
They are the best of friends but Jessica starts to get those all to familiar feelings for Jace until he puts a halt to it. until one faithful night it all changes.
Now we skip to 6 years later and Jessica is barely living, after her abrupt night with Jace and the way things were left between them she has been in a downward spiral until Jace shows up at her door wanting answers and oh yea he’s also getting married.
How can she deal? how would anyone? the man she loved, still loved had moved on and she was stuck, in her hated life.
This book gave me so many feels i couldn’t read it all in one sitting. I had to pause for a chapter break a few times. You know a chapter break where you just, need a minute!
This story was great in so many ways, it’s hard to say so without spoiling it, but i deals with some very tough and emotional things, like self-harm and some very intense bullying, self-hate and teenage sex. it left me emotionally raw(in a good way) and the ending was applaud worthy.
this was a great novel for Kathryn Perez to start with and if the rest of her books are as poignant as this one, sign me up!
5 out of 5 stars