Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds.
Depression, self-harm, bullying….that’s my reality.
Sex and guys….that’s my escape.
The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me– the two men that I love try to save me.
This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.
Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…
Kathryn lives in her small hometown in East Texas with her hand and two amazing children. Kathryn is an advocate of suicide prevention, supporter of ant-bullying efforts and does all she can to provide support to organizations who educate and bring awareness to these topics. With music being her second love to books she claims to be a music infused writer and book junkie who loves to live in a fictional world.
Married. Thinking about Jace being married to someone else puts a crack in my armor. It hurts; it burns my throat as I try to swallow the acidic thought of it down.
“Well then, in four weeks you should get married. Buy a big fancy house and go to charity dinners with your mother and wife. You can have the white picket fence and everything. It sounds like a perfect happily ever after, Jace. Don’t give it up for some broken girl you slept with once.” I bite out. I’m doing my best to keep it together, but I’m slowly unraveling. I love him; I hate him. I want him to stay; I need him to go. My contradicting thoughts circle my mind like vultures.
“Jessica, falling in love can’t always be a happily ever after or a once in a lifetime kind of story. Those happen in books, in movies. This is life and it’s real. Life has no script, no outline. We broke the rules of love long ago. All I know for sure is that with you, the rules will never apply.”
Before dejectedly walking out, he stops to look at me once more.
“And you weren’t just a girl I slept with once. You’re a girl I’ve loved—always.” And then he’s gone.